Antoine d'Agata ECLIPSE
Eclipse. Georgia 2009
And one can see piled up next to them the bones of the decomposed bodies
Whose flesh is crumbling away. Pass by without stopping.
Odyssey, Book XII, 45–47
- I am lost, like never before. Tonight, I 'm starting to see... coloured circles floating darkness. I came back. Elsewhere, I had to deserve to be loved, but love doesn't require reasons... These mountains, that landscape protect me. I am their Sun.
Nothing distinguishes one girl from the other, I feed on the proximity of bodies. Flesh within range, foul and sultry breathes, battered humanities haunting the sad and lonely stage, unable to meet, seeking exile in disgust of men. Drifting as a strategy, going back to oneself through presence of others. The fear of slowing down helps me move forward. The void pours into life.
- The air, outside, seems different. Things happen without my wanting them to. I don’t protect myself from what happens during sex, from what will happen to me. When no one takes me, I feel destroyed. I don’t know where I am. When I woke up, I could no longer feel a thing. I was an empty, soulless body. I had no more wants, no desires. I needed nothing. I was free. Just a cold slab of meat, incapable of moving. I could no longer breathe and I felt fine… like I’ve never felt before. But this fear, this fear of the unknown… I thought I’d never come back. I felt the substance seep in slowly. It oozed through my veins, and then my body warmed-up. I was lying down, eyes wide open. I began to see. I wanted to feel more. I am afraid of myself and of you. But, when I was lying by your side after we fucked, I was no longer scared, for a while. I can’t allow myself to misread men. Nor to fear them. All they want from me is my body. Then they turn into animals. Sometimes, I reject them. Sometimes I give them more than they expect. I control their desires, but I don’t desire them. There is no room for feelings. I must be strong. To live another day… But something is missing. Fear closes in on me. My body weakens. I want to disappear. When I cum, it no longer hurts. If you want me to stay quiet, I will. I’ll remain silent.....